i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
