foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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