plz talk dirty to me
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
