He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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