6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
