Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
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Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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