weddingsv make me drug and hornr
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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