Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
