i always forget guys have bellybuttons
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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