That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
