Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
