Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
whose parrot is this?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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