At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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