Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
