actually, I'm a sock model
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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