Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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