it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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