I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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