I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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