yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
