She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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