I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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