his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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