How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
