Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My vagina just recognized that song.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
