On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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