and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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