I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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