i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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