I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
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Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
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Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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