yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
