You really coming over, don't trick.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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