So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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