You're so nebulous sometimes
Girls should come with a carfax report
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
