if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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