And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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