You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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