i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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