I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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