11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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