Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
