gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Randomize
