sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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