it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
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Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
dude. I can hear the air.
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