My cat gives me a boner
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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