While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize