Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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