I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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