he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
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