put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Randomize
