Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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