And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My bed smells like the plague
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
