So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
