I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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