Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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