after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
